Shaykh al-‘Uthaymin authored an amazing book on marriage called Az-Zawaj wa Majmu’at As’ilah fi Ahkamihi Shaykh al-‘Uthaymin ( Marriage and a Collection of Questions on Its Rulings), and I will be translating some of it’s content for this post.
The Meaning Of Nikah
Translation: The word “nikah” in language has two meanings: it can mean the marriage contract or sexual intercourse with one’s spouse. Abu Ali al-Qali said that the Arabs made a subtle distinction to clarify the meaning:
- If they said, “He did nikah of so-and-so” or “the daughter of so-and-so,” they meant the marriage contract.
- If they said, “He did nikah of his wife,” they only meant intercourse.
In Sharia, nikah means a contract between a man and a woman intended for mutual enjoyment and the formation of a righteous family and a healthy society.
From this, we understand that the purpose of nikah is not just pleasure but also the establishment of families and stable communities. However, in some cases, one of these purposes may take precedence over the other, depending on the individual’s situation.
Az-Zawaj wa Majmu’at As’ilah fi Ahkamihi by Shayk Al Uthaymeen Pg 12
Ruling In Marriage
Marriage is allowed and strongly encouraged for those who have desire and are able to marry. It is from the ways of the messengers, as Allah mentioned in the Quran.
Marriage can also be obligatory in some cases. If a man has strong desire and fears that he will commit something forbidden if he does not marry, then he must marry to protect himself. The Prophet ﷺ advised young people to marry if they are able, as it helps lower the gaze and protect the private parts. If they cannot marry, then they should fast because fasting will help control their desires.
Translation: Marriage in itself is allowed and is strongly encouraged for anyone who has desire and is able to marry. It is from the ways of the messengers, as Allah said: “And We certainly sent messengers before you and We made for them wives and offspring.” (Surah al-Ra’d: 38)
The Prophet ﷺ married and said: “Indeed, I marry women, so whoever turns away from my way is not from me.” (Reported by al-Bukhari (d. 256AH) in Kitab al-Nikah (Book of Marriage), (Chapter: Encouragement to Marry), Hadith No. 5063, and by Muslim in Kitab al-Nikah, (Chapter: Whoever Among You is Able to Marry Should Marry), Hadith No. 1401.)
Because of this, the ulama said: “Marrying when one has desire is better than extra worship,” because it brings many benefits and good things, some of which will be explained later, if Allah wills.
In some cases, marriage can be obligatory, such as when a man has strong desire and fears that he will commit something forbidden if he does not marry. In this case, he must marry to protect himself and keep away from what is not allowed.
The Prophet ﷺ said: “O young people, whoever among you is able to marry should marry, for it lowers the gaze and protects the private parts. And whoever cannot, then he should fast, for it will be a shield for him.” (Reported by al-Bukhari (d. 256AH) in Kitab al-Nikah, (Chapter: Whoever Cannot Marry Should Fast), Hadith No. 5066, and by Muslim in Kitab al-Nikah, Hadith No. 1400.)
Az-Zawaj wa Majmu’at As’ilah fi Ahkamihi by Shayk Al Uthaymeen Pg 13-14
Conditions Of Marriage
Marriage in Islam has important conditions to make it valid. The most important ones are:
- Consent of both spouses: A man and woman cannot be forced into marriage. A previously married woman must say her approval, while a virgin’s silence is enough if she is shy. No one, not even her father, can force her. If she prefers one suitor over another and he is suitable, she should be married to him.
- A guardian: A woman cannot marry herself off; her guardian must do it. The guardian must choose a good and suitable spouse. If he keeps rejecting good suitors for personal reasons, he loses his right to be her guardian, and another male relative will take over.
Marriage is a trust, and guardians must act fairly, not out of greed or personal gain.
Translation: From the good organisation and precision of Islam in legislating rulings is that it has set conditions for contracts to regulate them and determine their validity for enforcement and continuation. Every contract has conditions without which it is not complete. This is clear proof of how perfect and precise Sharia is, as it comes from One who is Wise and All-Knowing, who knows what benefits creation and legislates for them what is good for their religion and worldly life, so that matters are not left in chaos without limits. Among these contracts is the contract of marriage, which has conditions, the most important of which are:
1 – The consent of both spouses: A man cannot be forced to marry someone he does not want, nor can a woman be forced to marry someone she does not want.
Allah said: (O you who believe, it is not lawful for you to inherit women against their will) (al-Nisa: 19). The Prophet ﷺ said: “A previously married woman is not given in marriage until she is consulted, and a virgin is not given in marriage until her permission is sought.” They said, “O Messenger of Allah, how is her permission?” He said, “That she remains silent”
(Bukhari, Book of Marriage, Chapter: A father or others should not give a virgin or previously married woman in marriage except with their consent, no. 5136; Muslim, Book of Marriage, Chapter: Seeking the consent of a previously married woman in marriage, no. 1419).
The Prophet ﷺ forbade giving a woman in marriage without her consent, whether she is a virgin or previously married. However, a previously married woman must explicitly state her approval, while for a virgin, her silence suffices, as she may feel shy to openly express her consent.
If she refuses marriage, no one can force her, not even her father. The Prophet ﷺ said: “A virgin is sought permission by her father”
(Muslim, Book of Marriage, Chapter: Seeking the consent of a previously married woman in marriage by speech and a virgin by silence, no. 1421).
There is no sin upon the father if he does not marry her in this case, because she is the one who refused. However, he must protect and safeguard her.
If two suitors propose to her and she says, “I want this one,” while her guardian says, “Marry the other,” she is to be married to the one she wants if he is suitable for her. But if he is not suitable, her guardian has the right to prevent her from marrying him, and there is no sin upon him in this case.
2 – A guardian: Marriage is not valid without a guardian. The Prophet ﷺ said: “There is no marriage except with a guardian”
(Abu Dawud, Book of Marriage, Chapter: Regarding the guardian, no. 2085; al-Tirmidhi, Book of Marriage, Chapter: What has been reported about ‘There is no marriage except with a guardian’, no. 1101; Ibn Majah, Book of Marriage, Chapter: There is no marriage except with a guardian, no. 1881).
If a woman gives herself in marriage, her marriage is invalid, whether she directly conducts the contract herself or appoints someone to do so.
The guardian must be a mature, sane, and sound-minded male from her male relatives on her father’s side, such as her father, paternal grandfather, son, grandson (and his descendants), full brother, paternal half-brother, full uncle, paternal half-uncle, and their closest male descendants.
Maternal brothers, their children, maternal grandfathers, and maternal uncles have no guardianship because they are not from the male line of descent.
Since marriage requires a guardian, it is obligatory for the guardian to choose the most suitable and most fitting spouse if there are multiple suitors. If only one suitor proposes, and he is suitable and the woman agrees, then the guardian must marry her to him.
Here, we pause to understand the great responsibility that the guardian bears towards the one whom Allah has placed under his care. It is a trust that he must uphold and place in its proper position. He is not allowed to withhold her marriage for personal interests or to marry her to an unsuitable match for his own gain, for this is a betrayal. Allah said: (O you who believe, do not betray Allah and the Messenger, nor betray your trusts while you know) (al-Anfal: 27). Allah also said: (Indeed, Allah does not love every treacherous, ungrateful person) (al-Hajj: 38). The Prophet ﷺ said: “Each of you is a shepherd, and each of you is responsible for his flock”
(Bukhari, Book of Marriage, Chapter: (Protect yourselves and your families from a Fire), no. 5188; Muslim, Book of Leadership, Chapter: The virtue of a just leader, no. 1829).
Some people refuse suitable suitors for their daughters, rejecting one after another. Whoever does this loses his guardianship, and another guardian from the nearest male relatives will conduct her marriage.
Az-Zawaj wa Majmu’at As’ilah fi Ahkamihi by Shayk Al Uthaymeen Pg 15-18
Characteristics Of The Woman That Should Be Married
The best woman to marry is one who brings happiness and helps build a good family. She should have both physical beauty, which makes her pleasing to look at and listen to, and moral beauty, meaning she has good religion and character. A religious woman respects her husband, helps him obey Allah, and cares for their home and children. The Prophet ﷺ said the best wife is one who makes her husband happy, obeys him, and respects his wishes. He also encouraged marrying loving and fertile women. If a woman has both inner and outer beauty, this brings true happiness, by Allah’s will.
Translation: Marriage is intended for enjoyment and for building a righteous family and a sound society, as previously mentioned.
Based on this, the woman who should be married is the one who fulfils these two purposes, meaning she possesses both physical beauty and moral beauty.
Physical beauty refers to a complete and attractive appearance. The more beautiful a woman is in her looks and the sweeter she is in her speech, the more pleasing she is to the eye, the more enjoyable it is to listen to her, and the more the heart is drawn to her. The chest opens up to her, and the soul finds comfort in her, fulfilling the meaning of Allah’s words: And among His signs is that He created for you wives from among yourselves so that you may find tranquillity in them, and He placed between you affection and mercy (Surah al-Rum, verse 21).
Moral beauty refers to the perfection of religion and character. The more religious and well-mannered a woman is, the more beloved she is to the soul and the better her outcome.
A religious woman upholds the commands of Allah, preserves the rights of her husband, his bed, his children, and his wealth, and supports him in obeying Allah. If he forgets, she reminds him; if he becomes lazy, she encourages him; and if he becomes angry, she pleases him.
An intelligent wife shows affection and respect to her husband. She does not delay in things he wants her to be prompt in, nor does she rush in things he prefers her to take slowly.
The Prophet ﷺ was asked: Which women are best? He said: The one who pleases him when he looks at her, obeys him when he commands, and does not oppose him in herself or his wealth in a way he dislikes.
(Reported by Imam Ahmad in his Musnad 2/251 and al-Nasai in his Sunan, Book of Marriage, Chapter: Which Women Are Best, Hadith no. 3231).
He also said: Marry loving and fertile women, for I will boast of your numbers before the prophets or, he said, before the nations
(Reported by Abu Dawud in his Sunan, Book of Marriage, Chapter: Prohibition of Marrying Women Who Cannot Bear Children, Hadith no. 2050, and al-Nasai in his Sunan, Book of Marriage, Chapter: Dislike of Marrying a Barren Woman, Hadith no. 3227).
If a woman can be found who possesses both outward and inward beauty, then this is true perfection and happiness by the will of Allah.
Az-Zawaj wa Majmu’at As’ilah fi Ahkamihi by Shayk Al Uthaymeen Pg 19-20
Translation: Shayk Ibn Uthaymeen رحمه الله said: When a person is at home then it is from the Sunnah, that for example he makes his own tea, cooks if he knows how to and washes up that which needs washing, all of this is from the Sunnah. If you do this then you get the reward of following the Sunnah, with imitating the Messenger ﷺ and in humbling yourself for Allaah – the Mighty and Majestic.
This also brings about love between you and your wife. When your family sense that you help them in their chores they will love you and your value to them will increase, therefore, this will end up being a great benefit.
Sharh Riyadh As-Saliheen, (3/529)
Women Forbidden In Marriage
Marriage is regulated by Sharia, and some women are permanently prohibited from marriage due to blood relation, breastfeeding, or marital ties.
- By blood relation: A man cannot marry his mother, daughters, sisters, paternal and maternal aunts, and nieces.
- By breastfeeding: If a woman breastfeeds a child five times before weaning, the child becomes like her own, and her children become his siblings.
- By marital ties: A man cannot marry his father’s or grandfather’s wives, his son’s or grandson’s wives, his wife’s mother and grandmothers, or his wife’s daughters and granddaughters if he consummated the marriage.
Translation: The Prophet ﷺ said: Indeed, Allah has prescribed obligations, so do not neglect them, and He has set limits, so do not exceed them (Reported by Ad-Daraqutni in his Sunan 4/184).
Among the limits set by Allah in Sharia is marriage, defining what is lawful and what is forbidden. Allah has prohibited a man from marrying certain women due to blood relation, breastfeeding, marital ties, or other reasons.
The women prohibited in marriage are of two types:
Some are permanently prohibited, while others are prohibited temporarily.
First Category: Those Prohibited by Blood Relation
There are seven types of women whom Allah has mentioned in the Qur’an: Prohibited to you are your mothers, your daughters, your sisters, your paternal aunts, your maternal aunts, the daughters of your brother, and the daughters of your sister (Surah al-Nisa: 23).
- Mothers include one’s biological mother and all grandmothers, whether from the father’s side or the mother’s side.
- Daughters include direct daughters, granddaughters from sons, and granddaughters from daughters, no matter how far down the lineage.
- Sisters include full sisters, paternal half-sisters, and maternal half-sisters.
- Paternal aunts include the man’s own paternal aunts, as well as the paternal aunts of his father, grandfathers, mother, and grandmothers.
- Maternal aunts include the man’s own maternal aunts, as well as the maternal aunts of his father, grandfathers, mother, and grandmothers.
- Daughters of brothers include nieces from full brothers, paternal half-brothers, and maternal half-brothers, as well as the daughters of their sons and daughters, no matter how far down the lineage.
- Daughters of sisters include nieces from full sisters, paternal half-sisters, and maternal half-sisters, as well as the daughters of their sons and daughters, no matter how far down the lineage.
Second Category: Those Prohibited by Breastfeeding
These are equivalent to those prohibited by blood relation. The Prophet ﷺ said: Breastfeeding creates the same prohibitions as blood relations (Reported by al-Bukhari in his Sahih, Book of Testimonies, Chapter on Testimony Regarding Lineage and Breastfeeding, Hadith no. 2645 and 2646; and Muslim in his Sahih, Book of Breastfeeding, Chapter on What is Prohibited by Breastfeeding, Hadith no. 1444 and 1447).
However, for breastfeeding to prohibit marriage, certain conditions must be met:
- The child must have nursed at least five times. If a child breastfeeds only four times, the woman does not become his mother through nursing. Aisha (may Allah be pleased with her) said: Among what was revealed in the Qur’an was that ten known breastfeedings create prohibition. Then, this was abrogated to five, and the Prophet ﷺ passed away while this was still recited in the Qur’an (Reported by Muslim in his Sahih, Book of Breastfeeding, Chapter on the Prohibition Established by Five Breastfeedings, Hadith no. 1452).
- Breastfeeding must occur before the child is weaned. If all five breastfeedings occur before weaning, the prohibition is established. However, if they happen after weaning, or some before and some after, then the woman does not become the child’s nursing mother.
If these conditions are met, the child becomes like a son to the woman, and all her children—whether born before or after him—are considered his siblings. Likewise, the children of the woman’s husband are also his siblings, regardless of whether they were born from the same woman or another wife.
It is important to note that only the direct descendants of the nursing child are affected by the ruling of breastfeeding. Other relatives, such as the child’s full brothers from his biological parents, are not affected. Thus, his biological brother may marry his nursing mother or his nursing sister. However, the child’s descendants are considered children of the nursing mother and her husband in the same way that he himself is.
Third Category: Those Prohibited by Marital Ties
- The wives of fathers and grandfathers, no matter how high the lineage, whether from the father’s side or the mother’s side. Allah says: And do not marry women whom your fathers have married (Surah al-Nisa: 22). When a man marries a woman, she becomes permanently prohibited to his sons, grandsons, and further male descendants, whether he consummates the marriage or not.
- The wives of sons, no matter how low the lineage. Allah says: And [also prohibited are] the wives of your sons who are from your loins (Surah al-Nisa, verse 23). If a man marries a woman, she becomes permanently prohibited to his father and grandfathers, whether from his paternal or maternal lineage, simply by the marriage contract, even if it was not consummated.
- The mother of a wife and her grandmothers, no matter how high the lineage. Allah says: And [also prohibited are] the mothers of your wives (Surah al-Nisa, verse 23). Once a man marries a woman, her mother and all her grandmothers, whether from her father’s side or her mother’s side, become permanently prohibited to him, even if the marriage was not consummated.
- The daughters of a wife and her granddaughters, no matter how far down the lineage. These are known as stepdaughters (raba’ib), and their descendants are included. However, the prohibition applies only if the man has consummated the marriage with their mother. If the marriage ends before consummation, the stepdaughters and their descendants remain permissible for him to marry. Allah says: And [also prohibited are] your stepdaughters who are in your care, born of your wives with whom you have consummated the marriage. But if you have not consummated the marriage with them, then there is no sin upon you (Surah al-Nisa, verse 23). If a man marries a woman and consummates the marriage, then all her daughters, granddaughters, and further female descendants from previous or future husbands become permanently prohibited to him. However, if the marriage ends before consummation, the prohibition does not apply to them.
Az-Zawaj wa Majmu’at As’ilah fi Ahkamihi by Shayk Al Uthaymeen Pg 21-26
Benefits Of Having Multiple Wives
Polygyny is beneficial as it helps in cases where a wife is elderly or ill, strengthens family ties, provides care for more women and children, and allows men with strong desires to remain within lawful bounds.
Translation: Polygyny has several benefits, including:
It may sometimes be necessary. For example, if a wife becomes elderly or ill and cannot fulfil her husband’s needs, but she has children with him, he may face difficulty if he remains with her alone. He may struggle with avoiding temptation, and divorcing her would separate her from her children. Polygyny solves this issue.
Marriage strengthens social ties and connections between people. Allah has placed marriage alongside lineage as a means of connection, as He says: And He it is Who created from water a human being and made him a lineage and an in-law (Reported in the Qur’an, Surah al-Furqan, verse 54). Polygyny brings together multiple families and strengthens relationships, which was one of the reasons the Prophet ﷺ married multiple wives.
It provides for and protects a larger number of women, ensuring they have financial support, housing, and security, while also increasing offspring and population, which is encouraged in Sharia.
Some men have strong desires that one wife cannot fulfil, even though they are pious and free from sin. They do not fear falling into adultery, but they wish to lawfully enjoy marital relations. Out of Allah’s mercy, He permitted polygyny in a proper manner.
Az-Zawaj wa Majmu’at As’ilah fi Ahkamihi by Shayk Al Uthaymeen Pg 29-30
The Wisdom Behind Marriage and Birth Control
Marriage protects individuals and society, ensures mutual rights between spouses, strengthens family ties, and secures the continuation of humanity. Fear of financial difficulty or parenting struggles is not a valid reason for birth control, as Allah guarantees provision. However, temporary family planning for health reasons is allowed if both spouses agree.
Translation: Marriage has many benefits, including:
- Preserving and protecting both spouses. The Prophet ﷺ said: O young men, whoever among you can afford marriage, let him marry, for it lowers the gaze and guards chastity.(Bukhari And Muslim)
- Protecting society from immorality and corruption. Without marriage, sinful relationships would spread between men and women.
- Ensuring mutual enjoyment and fulfilling marital rights. The husband provides for his wife, ensuring food, drink, shelter, and clothing. The Prophet ﷺ said: And they have a right upon you to their provision and clothing in a fair manner (Reported by Ahmad and Abu Dawud). Likewise, the wife takes care of household responsibilities. The Prophet ﷺ said: And the woman is a guardian in her husband’s house and is responsible for her household. (Bukhari And Muslim)
- Strengthening family bonds. Marriage creates connections between families and tribes that may otherwise remain distant. Allah has placed marital ties alongside blood relations, saying: And He it is Who created from water a human being and made him a lineage and an in-law (Surah al-Furqan: 54).
- Ensuring the continuation of human life in a proper way. Marriage leads to offspring, allowing humanity to continue. Allah says: O mankind, fear your Lord who created you from a single soul and created from it its mate, and spread from both of them many men and women (Surah al-Nisa: 1).
Without marriage, one of two things would happen: either the human race would cease, or children would be born from illicit relations, lacking lineage and proper upbringing.
Ruling on Birth Control
Some claim that birth control is necessary, but this contradicts Sharia. The Prophet ﷺ encouraged marrying fertile women, saying: Marry loving and fertile women, for I will boast of your numbers before the nations. Scholars have advised marrying women known for fertility, either based on their own history of childbirth if previously married or based on the fertility of their mother and sisters if unmarried.
- Fear of financial hardship is not a valid reason for birth control, as this reflects a lack of trust in Allah’s provision. Allah says: And there is no creature on earth except that its provision is upon Allah (Surah Hud, verse 6). He also says: How many creatures do not carry their provision? Allah provides for them and for you. He is the All-Hearing, the All-Knowing (Surah al-Ankabut, verse 60). Regarding those who kill their children out of fear of poverty, Allah says: We provide for them and for you (Surah al-Isra: 31).
- Fear of the difficulty of raising children is also not a valid reason. Some parents with few children struggle greatly in raising them, while others with many children find it easy. The ease or difficulty of raising children depends on Allah’s will. He says: And whoever fears Allah, He will make matters easy for him (Surah al-Talaq: 4).
Is Family Planning Allowed?
While birth control contradicts Sharia, family planning based on a mother’s health condition is different. It is permissible if both husband and wife agree, such as if the wife is weak and pregnancy harms her health. In such cases, using temporary contraceptive approaches is allowed.
The Companions practiced withdrawal (coitus interruptus) during the time of the Prophet ﷺ, and he did not prohibit them from doing so. Withdrawal is one of the approaches that can prevent pregnancy.
Az-Zawaj wa Majmu’at As’ilah fi Ahkamihi by Shayk Al Uthaymeen Pg 32-35
The Effects Of Marriage
Marriage has several important effects:
Dowry – The husband must give a gift (dowry) to his wife. It can be money or something beneficial. Islam encourages keeping dowries simple to make marriage easier. High dowries can cause delays in marriage and problems if divorce happens.
Financial Support – The husband must provide for his wife’s needs, such as food, clothing, and shelter. If he fails, she has the right to take what she needs from his wealth. The wedding feast is also encouraged but should not be wasteful.
Family Bonds – Marriage creates love and mercy between spouses and connects two families, increasing mutual care and responsibility.
Marriage Prohibitions – Marriage makes certain people permanently forbidden, such as a man’s wife’s mother and daughters (if consummation occurs) and a woman’s husband’s father and sons.
Inheritance – Once married, spouses inherit from each other, whether the marriage is consummated or not.
Translation:
First: The Obligation of the Dowry
The dowry is the marital gift, commonly known in general terms as “the bride’s provision.” It is the right of the wife in marriage, whether it is explicitly mentioned in the contract or not. The dowry is the money given to the wife due to marriage. If a specific amount is agreed upon, it is what was determined, whether small or large. If it is not specified in the contract, then the husband must pay her the customary dowry, which is the amount typically given to a woman of her status.
The dowry can be money or any beneficial service. The Prophet ﷺ once married a woman to a man on the condition that he teach her some of the Qur’an.
(Narrated by al-Bukhari, Book of Marriage, Chapter on Marrying the One Who Cannot Afford a Dowry, Hadith no. 5087, and Muslim, Book of Marriage, Chapter on Dowry and Permissibility of It Being the Teaching of the Qur’an, Hadith no. 1425).
The recommended practice for dowries is to keep them modest. The less burdened and easier it is, the better, following the example of the Prophet ﷺ and in pursuit of blessings. The most blessed marriage is the one with the least financial burden. Muslim narrated in his Sahih that a man told the Prophet ﷺ, “I have married a woman.” The Prophet ﷺ asked, “How much dowry did you give her?” The man replied, “Four uqiyas (equivalent to one hundred and sixty dirhams).” The Prophet ﷺ said, “Four uqiyas? It is as if you are carving silver from the side of this mountain. We have nothing to give you, but perhaps we will send you on an expedition where you may earn something”
(Narrated by Muslim, Book of Marriage, Chapter on Encouragement to Look at a Woman Before Marriage, Hadith no. 1424).
Umar ibn al-Khattab said: “Do not exaggerate in the dowries of women. If it were a sign of honour in this world or piety in the Hereafter, the Prophet ﷺ would have been the most deserving of it. Yet, he did not give any of his wives, nor did any of his daughters receive, more than twelve uqiyas in dowry. An uqiya is forty dirhams.”
The rising cost of dowries in recent times has had negative consequences, preventing many men and women from marrying. A man may spend many years before gathering enough for the dowry, leading to several harms:
- Many men and women remain unmarried for long periods.
- Families often judge a suitor based on the dowry amount rather than his character and religion. If the dowry is high, they accept him without considering the long-term consequences. If the dowry is low, they reject him, even if he is righteous.
- When a marriage faces difficulties, and the dowry was excessive, the husband often hesitates to separate amicably. Instead, he may mistreat his wife, hoping she will return some of the dowry before he divorces her. If the dowry were modest, he would find it easier to part with her peacefully.
If people were moderate in dowries and worked together to simplify marriage costs, society would benefit greatly. There would be ease, stability, and more opportunities for men and women to marry. Unfortunately, people now compete in increasing dowry amounts, adding new expenses each year, without knowing where this trend will end.
Some people, especially in rural areas, adopt a slightly easier approach by delaying part of the dowry. For instance, they may agree on a dowry where half is paid immediately and half is postponed for a year or more. This reduces some financial pressure on the husband.
Second: The Obligation of Financial Support
The husband is required to provide for his wife in a reasonable manner, including food, drink, clothing, and housing. If he withholds any of these essential needs, he is sinful, and the wife has the right to take from his wealth according to her needs or borrow in his name, and he must repay it.
Part of the financial responsibility is the wedding feast, which is a meal prepared by the husband to celebrate the marriage and invite others. It is a recommended practice, as the Prophet ﷺ did it and encouraged it. However, the feast should not involve excessive extravagance. It should be appropriate to the husband’s financial situation.
Some people spend excessive amounts on wedding feasts, both in terms of quantity and quality, wasting large sums of money with no real benefit. This is not appropriate.
Third: Strengthening Family Bonds
Allah has placed love and mercy between spouses, and marriage establishes a connection between two families. This bond creates responsibilities and obligations based on custom, as the closer the connection, the greater the mutual rights and duties.
Fourth: Marital Prohibitions
Through marriage, the husband becomes permanently forbidden from marrying his wife’s mother, grandmothers, and any higher female ancestors. He also becomes permanently forbidden from marrying his wife’s daughters, granddaughters, and further female descendants, but only if he has consummated the marriage with their mother.
Similarly, the wife becomes permanently forbidden from marrying her husband’s father, grandfathers, and any higher male ancestors, as well as his sons and grandsons, and further male descendants.
Fifth: The Right to Inheritance
Once a valid marriage contract is completed, both spouses inherit from each other. Allah says: And for you is half of what your wives leave if they have no child, but if they have a child, then for you is one-fourth of what they leave, after any bequest they make or debt (Al-Nisa: 12). There is no difference whether they consummate the marriage or not.
Az-Zawaj wa Majmu’at As’ilah fi Ahkamihi by Shayk Al Uthaymeen Pg 36-40
Ruling On Divorce And What Should Be Considered
Divorce is allowed but disliked in Islam because it breaks families apart. However, if staying together causes harm, divorce is permitted with certain rules:
- Avoid divorcing during menstruation – If a man divorces his wife while she is menstruating, it is sinful. He must take her back and wait until she is pure before deciding again.
- Do not divorce after intimacy in a pure state – If a man has had intercourse with his wife after her last menstruation, he must wait until she menstruates again and purifies herself before divorcing her. If she is pregnant, he may divorce her at any time.
- Do not pronounce multiple divorces at once – Saying “You are divorced three times” in one sitting is forbidden. Divorce should be given step by step, not rushed.
Many people divorce without knowing these rules. A believer must follow Allah’s limits and not act impulsively.
Translation: Divorce is the separation of a wife through verbal pronouncement, writing, or gestures.
The basic principle regarding divorce is that it is disliked, as it results in the loss of the benefits of marriage and the breakup of the family. The Prophet ﷺ said: The most hated permissible act to Allah is divorce.
However, since divorce is sometimes necessary—whether due to harm experienced by the wife in remaining with her husband, harm to the husband from his wife, or other reasons—Allah, in His mercy, has made it permissible and not overly restrictive.
If a man dislikes his wife and cannot be patient, there is no harm in divorcing her. However, he must consider the following:
- He should not divorce her while she is menstruating. If he divorces her during her menstrual period, he has disobeyed Allah and His Messenger and committed a prohibited act. In such a case, he must take her back and keep her until she becomes pure, and then if he wishes, he may divorce her. The better approach is to wait until she has menstruated again and purified herself; then, if he chooses, he may either keep her or divorce her.
- He should not divorce her in a state of purity in which he has had intercourse with her, unless it is confirmed that she is pregnant. If a man intends to divorce his wife and has had intercourse with her after her last menstruation, he must wait until she menstruates again and becomes pure. Even if this takes a long time, he should then divorce her before touching her again. However, if it is confirmed that she is pregnant, or if she is already pregnant, then there is no harm in divorcing her. Allah says: O Prophet, when you divorce women, divorce them for their waiting period (Al-Talaq: 1).
Ibn Abbas said: A man should not divorce his wife while she is menstruating, nor in a state of purity after intercourse. He should wait until she menstruates and then purifies herself before divorcing her.
- He should not pronounce more than one divorce at a time. He should not say: “You are divorced twice” or “You are divorced three times” or repeat the phrase multiple times in one sitting. Pronouncing three divorces at once is forbidden. The Prophet ﷺ was informed of a man who divorced his wife three times in one sitting and said: Is the Book of Allah being played with while I am among you? A man then stood up and said: O Messenger of Allah, should I not kill him?
(Narrated by al-Nasai, Book of Divorce, Chapter on Pronouncing Three Divorces Together and Its Severity, Hadith no. 3401).
Many people are unaware of the rulings of divorce, and they divorce impulsively without considering the correct timing or number of pronouncements.
A believer must adhere to the limits set by Allah and not exceed them. Allah says: Whoever transgresses the limits of Allah has wronged himself (Al-Talaq: 1). He also says: Whoever transgresses the limits of Allah—it is they who are the wrongdoers (Al-Baqara: 229).
Az-Zawaj wa Majmu’at As’ilah fi Ahkamihi by Shayk Al Uthaymeen Pg 41-43
Causes For Delayed Marriage and The Shayk’s Advice On The Matter
Translation: Question: Some young men and women avoid early marriage. What do you think are the reasons for this, and what advice would you give them?
Answer: The reasons for delaying marriage vary from person to person and cannot be fully listed. Some delay marriage due to financial difficulties, while others face family-related social issues. Some prioritize completing their education, while others are occupied with business. In short, the reasons are many.
However, when a person understands that the correct view is that marriage is obligatory for those who have desire and the ability to marry, and that delaying it in such a case is sinful, they will not delay it unless they have a valid excuse that lifts the obligation.
My advice is that a person should hasten to marry if they are able, because of the many benefits it brings, as previously mentioned. The doubts and fears that some people have about marriage are merely illusions inspired by the devil. If a person relies on Allah and fulfills His commands in this matter, they will find a good outcome.
Az-Zawaj wa Majmu’at As’ilah fi Ahkamihi by Shayk Al Uthaymeen Pg 58-59
The Righteous Husband And Wife
A righteous husband or wife is someone who obeys Allah and fulfils their responsibilities.
A righteous wife is obedient to Allah, devoted to worship, and protects her husband’s secrets. She does not expose his flaws but speaks well of him.
A righteous husband also keeps private matters hidden and does not share his wife’s secrets. The Prophet ﷺ warned that revealing a spouse’s private matters is a serious sin.
When choosing a spouse, it is important to look at their family, as good character is often inherited. A person’s upbringing and environment shape their behaviour.
Translation: A righteous husband or wife is one who fulfils the rights of Allah and the rights of others to the best of their ability. This is why in our prayers we say, Peace be upon us and upon the righteous servants of Allah, and we understand that the righteous servants of Allah include all who obey Allah, whether male or female, human or jinn, or even angels.
Allah describes the righteous wife, saying: So righteous women are devoutly obedient and guard in their husband’s absence what Allah would have them guard (Al-Nisa: 34). She is obedient to Allah, devoted to worship, and preserves what is hidden from others. She keeps private matters between her and her husband and does not expose his flaws. Instead, she speaks well of him even if he has shortcomings.
Likewise, a righteous husband keeps private what occurs between him and his wife. He does not disclose matters that should remain hidden. The Prophet ﷺ said: Among the worst people in status before Allah on the Day of Judgment is the man who is intimate with his wife, and she with him, and then he spreads her secrets.
(Narrated by Muslim, Book of Marriage, Chapter on the Prohibition of Disclosing a Woman’s Secrets, Hadith no. 1437).
When choosing a spouse, it is important that the man comes from a righteous family known for their good character and for avoiding problems. The same applies to the woman—she should come from a family known for righteousness and good morals. In general, inheritance has a strong influence on a person’s character, and its effects remain unless a person is raised in an environment different from that of their parents and ancestors.
A husband and wife can learn about each other by observing their families and surroundings, as people rarely deviate from the environment they were raised in. The branch follows its root.
Az-Zawaj wa Majmu’at As’ilah fi Ahkamihi by Shayk Al Uthaymeen Pg 60-61
Ruling On Hasty Divorce
If a husband divorces his wife following Sharia rules, the divorce is valid. However, Islam discourages hasty divorce, as it often leads to regret. Many men rush into divorce over small issues and later seek ways to undo it.
The Prophet ﷺ advised against anger, telling a man repeatedly: Do not get angry. He also taught that when angry, a person should say I seek refuge in Allah from the devil, change their position (sit if standing, lie down if sitting), make ablution, and leave the place of anger until they calm down.
Translation: Question: Many husbands rush into divorce over trivial matters. What is the ruling on their divorce in such cases?
Answer: If the divorce is pronounced in accordance with the requirements of Sharia, then it is valid. However, we advise these reckless individuals not to hasten in divorce, as it is discouraged in Islam unless there is a real need. Divorce is disliked because it leads to regret, and many who hastily divorce soon find themselves sorrowful and seeking fatwas from scholars, saying: I divorced my wife in such and such a situation, hoping to undo the consequences of their own actions.
A person must learn to control themselves in moments of anger. A man once came to the Prophet ﷺ and said: Advise me. The Prophet ﷺ replied: Do not get angry. The man repeated his request several times, and each time the Prophet ﷺ said: Do not get angry
(Narrated by al-Bukhari, Book of Manners, Chapter on Warning Against Anger, Hadith no. 6116).
The Prophet ﷺ also instructed that if a person becomes angry, they should say: I seek refuge in Allah from the accursed devil. If they are standing, they should sit, and if they are sitting, they should lie down. Additionally, they should perform ablution and leave the place of anger until they calm down.
(Narrated by Abu Dawud, Book of Anger, Chapter on What to Say When Angry, Hadith no. 4782).
Az-Zawaj wa Majmu’at As’ilah fi Ahkamihi by Shayk Al Uthaymeen Pg 121-122
Consequences Of Divorce
Translation: Since divorce results in the separation of the spouses, several rulings follow from it, including:
- The obligation of the waiting period (iddah) if the husband has consummated the marriage or been alone with his wife. If he divorces her before consummating the marriage or being alone with her, then she has no waiting period. Allah says: O you who believe, if you marry believing women and then divorce them before you have touched them, then there is no waiting period upon them that you must count (Al-Ahzab: 49).
The waiting period is three menstrual cycles for a woman who menstruates, three months for a woman who does not menstruate, and until childbirth for a pregnant woman.
The wife becomes permanently prohibited to her husband if he has already divorced her twice before.
If a man divorces his wife and then takes her back during the waiting period or remarries her after the waiting period, then divorces her again and takes her back in the same way, and then divorces her a third time, she becomes unlawful for him until she marries another man in a valid marriage, and he consummates it.
If her second husband later divorces her, only then does she become lawful again for the first husband. Allah says: Divorce is twice. Then, either keep her in an acceptable manner or release her with good treatment (Al-Baqara: 229).
Then He says: If he divorces her (a third time), then she is not lawful to him afterward until she marries another husband. If he (the second husband) divorces her, then there is no blame upon them (the first husband and the woman) for returning to each other if they think they can uphold the limits of Allah. And these are the limits of Allah, which He makes clear to a people who know (Al-Baqara: 230).
Allah prohibited a woman from returning to the husband who divorced her three times unless she marries another man because, in the early days of Islam, men could divorce and take back their wives without restriction. A man once became angry with his wife and said: By Allah, I will neither keep you nor let you go.
She asked: How so? He said: I will divorce you, and when your waiting period is about to end, I will take you back, and then I will divorce you again when your waiting period is near its end. The woman mentioned this to the Prophet ﷺ, and then Allah revealed: Divorce is twice (Al-Baqara: 229).
The restriction of divorce to three times was a mercy for women to protect them from being oppressed by their husbands.
Shayk Ibn Uthaymeen concludes by saying: This has covered many rulings related to marriage, aiming for a balanced approach without excessive detail or excessive brevity. I ask Allah to make it beneficial, to accept it sincerely for His sake, and to guide this nation to be a generation knowledgeable of Allah’s rulings, upholding His boundaries, carrying out His commands, and guiding His servants.
Our Lord, do not let our hearts deviate after You have guided us, and grant us mercy from Yourself. Indeed, You are the Bestower.
Our Lord, give us good in this world and good in the Hereafter, and protect us from the punishment of the Fire.
May Allah’s blessings and peace be upon our Prophet Muhammad, his family, and his companions.
Az-Zawaj wa Majmu’at As’ilah fi Ahkamihi by Shayk Al Uthaymeen Pg 44-46
