ٱلرِّجَالُ قَوَّٰمُونَ عَلَى ٱلنِّسَآءِ بِمَا فَضَّلَ ٱللَّهُ بَعْضَهُمْ عَلَىٰ بَعْضٍۢ وَبِمَآ أَنفَقُوا۟ مِنْ أَمْوَٰلِهِمْ ۚ فَٱلصَّٰلِحَٰتُ قَٰنِتَٰتٌ حَٰفِظَٰتٌ لِّلْغَيْبِ بِمَا حَفِظَ ٱللَّهُ ۚ وَٱلَّٰتِى تَخَافُونَ نُشُوزَهُنَّ فَعِظُوهُنَّ وَٱهْجُرُوهُنَّ فِى ٱلْمَضَاجِعِ وَٱضْرِبُوهُنَّ ۖ فَإِنْ أَطَعْنَكُمْ فَلَا تَبْغُوا۟ عَلَيْهِنَّ سَبِيلًا ۗ إِنَّ ٱللَّهَ كَانَ عَلِيًّا كَبِيرًۭا
Men are maintainers over women because Allah has favored some over others and because they spend from their wealth. So righteous women are devoutly obedient and guard in the absence (of their husbands) what Allah has entrusted them with. And those from whom you fear rebellion, then advise them, and (if they persist) forsake them in bed, and (if they still persist) strike them (lightly). But if they obey you, do not seek a means against them. Indeed, Allah is Most High, Great
The word qawwamun means men have responsibility, leadership, and guardianship over their wife. The verse justifies this role by mentioning that men are required to provide for their wives. This aligns with broader Sharia teachings, where a husband’s duty includes financial maintenance (nafaqah), even if his wife has her own wealth.
The verse describes salihat (righteous women) as being qanitat (devoutly obedient), and this is obedience to Allah, because when a woman obeys her husband in what is good she is also obeying Allah. The righteous women safeguard what is entrusted to them, referring to their dignity, chastity, and household affairs.
The verse then talks about nushuz, a term that can mean rebellion, arrogance, or misconduct in the marriage. The steps to deal with this are:
- First: Admonition—giving advice and reminders.
- Second: Separation in bed—a form of distancing to allow reflection.
- Third: Darb (Striking)—This is the most debated part. The Prophet explained this himself and said when our women are behaving in an evil manner after going through the other steps we should strike them lightly and with a beating that does not cause harm. Also many from the salaf and mufasireen give the same interpretation, all of which I will be shwoing below.
If the wife ceases her misconduct, the husband is commanded not to seek further means against her, as this process is meant for correction, not necessarily punishment.
حَدَّثَنَا الْحَسَنُ بْنُ عَلِيٍّ الْخَلاَّلُ، حَدَّثَنَا الْحُسَيْنُ بْنُ عَلِيٍّ الْجُعْفِيُّ، عَنْ زَائِدَةَ، عَنْ شَبِيبِ بْنِ غَرْقَدَةَ، عَنْ سُلَيْمَانَ بْنِ عَمْرِو بْنِ الأَحْوَصِ، قَالَ حَدَّثَنِي أَبِي أَنَّهُ، شَهِدَ حَجَّةَ الْوَدَاعِ مَعَ رَسُولِ اللَّهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم فَحَمِدَ اللَّهَ وَأَثْنَى عَلَيْهِ وَذَكَّرَ وَوَعَظَ فَذَكَرَ فِي الْحَدِيثِ قِصَّةً فَقَالَ ” أَلاَ وَاسْتَوْصُوا بِالنِّسَاءِ خَيْرًا فَإِنَّمَا هُنَّ عَوَانٌ عِنْدَكُمْ لَيْسَ تَمْلِكُونَ مِنْهُنَّ شَيْئًا غَيْرَ ذَلِكَ إِلاَّ أَنْ يَأْتِينَ بِفَاحِشَةٍ مُبَيِّنَةٍ فَإِنْ فَعَلْنَ فَاهْجُرُوهُنَّ فِي الْمَضَاجِعِ وَاضْرِبُوهُنَّ ضَرْبًا غَيْرَ مُبَرِّحٍ فَإِنْ أَطَعْنَكُمْ فَلاَ تَبْغُوا عَلَيْهِنَّ سَبِيلاً أَلاَ إِنَّ لَكُمْ عَلَى نِسَائِكُمْ حَقًّا وَلِنِسَائِكُمْ عَلَيْكُمْ حَقًّا فَأَمَّا حَقُّكُمْ عَلَى نِسَائِكُمْ أَلاَّ يُوطِئْنَ فُرُشَكُمْ مَنْ تَكْرَهُونَ وَلاَ يَأْذَنَّ فِي بُيُوتِكُمْ لِمَنْ تَكْرَهُونَ أَلاَ وَحَقُّهُنَّ عَلَيْكُمْ أَنْ تُحْسِنُوا إِلَيْهِنَّ فِي كِسْوَتِهِنَّ وَطَعَامِهِنَّ ” . قَالَ أَبُو عِيسَى هَذَا حَدِيثٌ حَسَنٌ صَحِيحٌ . وَمَعْنَى قَوْلِهِ ” عَوَانٌ عِنْدَكُمْ ” . يَعْنِي أَسْرَى فِي أَيْدِيكُمْ .
Sulaiman bin Amr bin Al-Ahwas said: “My father narrated to me that he witnessed the farewell Hajj with the Messenger of Allah. So he thanked and praised Allah and he reminded and gave admonition.
He mentioned a story in his narration and He (the Prophet) said: “And indeed I order you to be good to the women, for they are but captives with you over whom you have no power than that, except if they come with manifest Fahishah (evil behavior).
If they do that, then abandon their beds and beat them with a beating that is not harmful. And if they obey you then you have no cause against them. Indeed you have rights over your women, and your women have rights over you.
As for your rights over your women, then they must not allow anyone whom you dislike to treat on your bedding (furniture), nor to admit anyone in your home that you dislike. And their rights over you are that you treat them well in clothing them and feeding them.”
Jami’ At Tirmidhi 1163 — Imam At Tirmidhi says this hadith is Hasan Sahih
This hadith shows that the Prophet was clearly against harm towards women as, he allows a woman to get divorced over getting her arm broken, something that cannot be said for Christians because according to Jesus in the Bible you can only divorce if the spouse has committed adultery. In Matthew 19:8-10 it states
8 Jesus replied, “Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning. 9 I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery.”
10 The disciples said to him, “If this is the situation between a husband and wife, it is better not to marry.”
Translation: In the Sunan and Musnad, it is narrated from Muawiya ibn Hayda al-Qushayri that he said: “O Messenger of Allah, what is the right of a wife over one of us?” He said: “That you feed her when you eat, clothe her when you clothe yourself, do not strike her face, do not insult her, and do not abandon her except within the house.”
As for the verse: “And strike them” [Quran 4:34], it means if they do not respond to admonition or separation in the bed, then you are permitted to strike them lightly (darban ghayr mubarrih), as is confirmed in Sahih Muslim from Jabir, where the Prophet said during his Farewell Sermon: “Fear Allah regarding women, for they are like captives with you. You have rights over them that they do not allow someone you dislike into your bed. If they do so, you may strike them lightly (darban ghayr mubarrih). Their rights over you are that you provide for them and clothe them in kindness.”
Similarly, Ibn Abbas and others said: It means a non-painful strike. Al-Hasan al-Basri explained it as a strike that leaves no mark. Fuqaha clarified that it must not break bones or cause harm.
Ali ibn Abi Talha, narrating from Ibn Abbas, said: “He abandons her in the bed. If she returns to obedience, then nothing more is required. Otherwise, Allah permits him to strike her lightly (darban ghayr mubarrih), ensuring no bones are broken. If she still refuses, the matter is then for further resolution.”
Tafsir Ibn Kathir 4:34 (2/299)
Translation: Allah, exalted be His praise, says: “Admonish them, O men, regarding their disobedience. If they return to fulfilling their obligations toward you, confine them securely in their homes and strike them to bring them back to their duty of obeying Allah and fulfilling your rights.” The scholars of interpretation stated that the nature of the striking Allah has permitted for a disobedient wife (nashiz) is a strike that is ghayr mubarrih (non-painful). Saeed ibn Jubayr (d. 95 AH): “And strike them” means a strike that is non-painful.
Ibn Hamid narrated from Yahya ibn Wadih, from Abu Hamza, from Ata ibn Saib, from Saeed ibn Jubayr with the same meaning. Ibn Hamid narrated from Jarir, from Mughira, from Al-Shabi: “The strike is non-painful.” Al-Muthanna narrated from Hibban ibn Musa, from Ibn al-Mubarak, who reported from Sharik, from Ata ibn Saib, from Saeed ibn Jubayr, from Ibn Abbas: “And strike them” means a strike that is non-painful.
Ibn Abbas said: “And abandon them in bed and strike them.” He said: “You abandon her in bed, and if she turns back to obedience, there is nothing further. If she does not, Allah has permitted you to strike her lightly without breaking her bones.
If she returns to obedience, nothing more is required; if not, the issue may escalate to the payment of compensation.” Al-Hasan Al Basri (d. 100AH) and Qatadah (d. 117 AH) said: “And strike them.” Means: “A strike that is non-painful.”
Abdul Razzaq also narrated from Ibn Jurayj, who asked Ata ibn Abi Rabah (d. 114 AH) regarding “And strike them.” Means: “A strike that is non-painful.” Qatadah said regarding “Abandon them in bed and strike them.”
He said: “Abandon her in bed, and if she refuses, strike her with a strike that is non-painful and does not disgrace her.” Ata said regarding “And strike them.” He said: “He strikes her lightly with something like a siwak or similar.”
Tafsir At Tabari 4:34 (6/710-711)
The Prophet ﷺ says men should treat their wives kindly, forbidding striking the face, reviling them, or abandoning them except within the home.
If a wife obeys, the husband should not find faults in her. Ibn ʿUyaynah said that love cannot be forced. Scholars debated whether admonition, forsaking, and striking should be done together or in stages. The preferred view is to apply them progressively if rebellion continues.
If a couple faces serious discord, arbitrators from both families should be appointed to help reconcile them. If both sincerely seek reconciliation, Allah will bring harmony. If separation is best, they may divorce. Ali رضي الله عنه ruled that both husband and wife must accept the decision of the arbitrators.
Translation: Sa‘īd narrated from Abū Hurayrah رضي الله عنه that the Messenger of Allah ﷺ said: “The best of women is the one who, if you look at her, pleases you, if you command her, she obeys you, and if you are absent from her, she safeguards you in her wealth and herself.” (Reported by Al-Nasā’ī in Kitāb al-Nikāḥ, Bāb Ayy al-Nisā’ Khayr, 6/68, authenticated by Al-Ḥākim in Al-Mustadrak, 2/161-162, and mentioned by Al-Ṭabarī in Tafsīr, 8/295. Ibn Ḥajar also attributed it to Al-Bazzār with the wording: “A righteous woman is the one who, if you look at her…” and said: “It was also reported by Abū Dāwūd, Al-Ḥākim, and Al-Tirmidhī from Mujāhid, narrating from Ibn ʿAbbās. There is also a narration from Abū Umāmah in Ibn Mājah, but its chain is weak” (Al-Kāfī al-Shāfī, 43)).
Then he ﷺ recited: “Men are caretakers over women…” (Quran 4:34).
“And those [wives] from whom you fear rebellion”
This refers to their disobedience. The word nushūz (rebellion) originates from arrogance and rising above one’s rightful place. It is related to nashr, meaning an elevated place.
“Admonish them”—that is, warn them of Allah’s punishment and remind them verbally.
“And [if they persist] forsake them in bed”—Ibn ʿAbbās said this means turning his back on her in bed and not speaking to her. Others said it means completely separating from her and moving to another bed. (Al-Ṭabarī, Tafsīr, 5/38).
“And [finally] strike them”—if they still do not desist even after abandonment, then strike them with a non-violent, non-injurious blow. ʿAṭā’ said: “With a siwāk (a small wooden tooth-cleaning stick)” (Al-Ṭabarī, Tafsīr, 5/39).
It was narrated in a hadith that the Prophet ﷺ said: “It is the right of a woman that you feed her when you eat, clothe her when you acquire wealth, do not strike her face, do not revile her, and do not abandon her except within the house.” (Reported by Abū Dāwūd in Kitāb al-Nikāḥ, Bāb fī Ḥaqq al-Mar’ah ʿalā Zawjihā, 3/67-68; Ibn Mājah in Kitāb al-Nikāḥ, Bāb fī Ḥaqq al-Mar’ah ʿalā al-Zawj, no. 1800, 1/594; Ibn Ḥibbān, no. 1286, Mawārid al-Ẓam’ān, 212. Authenticated by Al-Ḥākim in Al-Mustadrak, 2/187-188, and confirmed by Al-Dhahabī. Al-Mundhirī attributed it to Al-Nasā’ī in Al-Kubrā and it was also reported by Aḥmad in Al-Musnad, 4/446-447 from Muʿāwiyah ibn Ḥaydah, and by Al-Baghawī in Sharḥ al-Sunnah, 9/160).
“But if they obey you, seek not a way against them”
That is, do not find faults in them without cause. Sufyan ibn ʿUyaynah (d. 198 AH) said: “Do not force them to love you, for the heart is not in their control” (Al-Ṭabarī, Tafsīr, 5/40).
“Indeed, Allah is Most High, Most Great”—meaning, He is far above burdening His servants beyond what they can bear.
The apparent meaning of the verse indicates that the husband combines all three actions—admonition, abandonment, and striking. Some scholars held to the literal meaning, saying that if rebellion (nushūz) appears, all three actions are taken together. They interpreted “fear” in “those [wives] from whom you fear rebellion” to mean certainty, as in “But if one fears from the testator [some] error” (Quran 2:182). Others interpreted “fear” as mere suspicion, like in “And if you fear treachery from a people” (Quran 8:58).
They said that these actions are to be applied progressively: if rebellion is suspected through signs of roughness and ill conduct, the husband first admonishes her; if she persists, he abandons her; if she continues, then he may strike her lightly (Al-Ṭabarī, Tafsīr, 5/41).
“And if you fear discord between them” (Quran 4:35)
This refers to discord between the husband and wife. The word fear here means certainty, while some say it means suspicion, as in “If you fear dissension between them” (Quran 4:35).
If discord arises between spouses, and neither the husband forgives nor the wife fulfills her duties, and they resort to impermissible speech and actions, then the ruler (imam) appoints an arbitrator (representative from each spouse’s family who is appointed to mediate and resolve disputes) from the husband’s family and another from the wife’s family—two free and just men. Each arbitrator should investigate the stance of the one he represents—whether they desire reconciliation or separation.
The two arbitrators then meet and decide what they deem best for the couple. This is the meaning of Allah’s statement: “Appoint an arbitrator from his family and an arbitrator from her family. If they both desire reconciliation, Allah will cause harmony between them.”
Some scholars interpreted “them” as referring to the two arbitrators, while others said it refers to the spouses (Al-Ṭabarī, Tafsīr, 5/42).
Ibn Sībīn narrated from ʿUbaydah, that he said about this verse: “And if you fear discord between them, appoint an arbitrator from his family and an arbitrator from her family”—A man and a woman came to Ali ibn Abī Ṭālib رضي الله عنه with representatives from their families. Ali commanded them to appoint an arbitrator from his family and an arbitrator from her family, then he said to the two arbitrators: “Do you know what is required of you? If you decide they should remain together, they will remain together. If you decide they should separate, they will separate.” The woman said: “I accept the ruling of Allah regarding what is due to me and what I owe.” The man said: “As for separation, I do not accept it.” ʿAlī said: “By Allah, you are lying! You must accept it just as she does” (Al-Ṭabarī, Tafsīr, 8/320-321; Al-Umm, 5/177. Al-Shāfiʿī said: “The hadith of ʿAlī is authentic to us.” Al-Bayhaqī reported it in Al-Sunan, 7/205-306 with a sound chain, and Al-Baghawī in Sharḥ al-Sunnah, 9/189-190).
Tafsir Al Baghawi Qur’an 4:34-35 (5/208-209)
Translation: Allah’s Statement: “And [finally] strike them” (Quran 4:34) – Allah commanded that one should start with admonition first, then with abandonment, and if neither works, then striking. This is because striking is what reforms her and compels her to fulfill his rights. The striking mentioned in this verse is disciplinary and non-severe (ḍarb al-adab ghayr al-mubriḥ), meaning that it does not break a bone or cause any lasting harm (Al-Muḥarrar al-Wajīz, 2/48). It should be a light strike, such as a nudge or something similar, because the purpose of it is correction, nothing more.
Therefore, if the strike leads to serious harm or death, then liability is required. The same ruling applies to a teacher disciplining his student—if the strike goes beyond correction and results in injury or death, the teacher is held accountable. (Al-Muḥarrar al-Wajīz, 2/48).
Tafsir Al Qurtubi (6/285) Quran 4:34
