The Excellence of Noble Character

From the beauties of our religion is its concern for noble character. Allah’s Messenger ﷺ said: “I was only sent to complete righteous character.” (Reported by Ahmad, 8595; al Bayhaqi, 2/192; Ibn Abi Shaybah, 6/324. Al Haythami said its narrators are those of the Sahih. Al Albani graded it authentic, in Sahih al Jamiʿ, 2349.)

When the Prophet ﷺ was sent, he affirmed what the people of the pre Islamic period had of good character, he removed what they had of bad character, and he refined what needed refining. From the noble character that Islam affirmed is a man’s protective jealousy over his family.

Definition of Protective Jealousy

Ibn Hajar (d. 852AH) said that protective jealousy is taken from the change of the heart and the stirring of anger because of sharing in something that is meant to be exclusive, and it is strongest between spouses, in the case of human beings. (Fath al Bari, 9/320.)

Al Nawawi (d. 676AH) said: “The ulama said: protective jealousy is with a fathah on the letter ghayn, and its root is prevention. A man is protective over his family, meaning he prevents them from attaching themselves to a stranger through looking, speech, or other than that. Protective jealousy is a quality of completion.” (Sharh al Nawawi ʿala Sahih Muslim, 4/125.)

It was said: “There is no honour in the one who does not have protective jealousy.” (Muhadarat al Udaba, 2/255.)

No One Has Greater Protective Jealousy than Allah

Allah’s Messenger ﷺ said: “No one has greater protective jealousy than Allah, and because of that He forbade indecencies, what is apparent of them and what is hidden.” (Reported by al Bukhari, 4268; Muslim, 4956; al Tirmidhi, 3453; Ahmad, 3434.)

He ﷺ said: “Allah has protective jealousy, and the believer has protective jealousy. Allah’s protective jealousy is that the believer comes to what He has forbidden for him.” (Reported by al Bukhari, 4822; Muslim, 4959.)

He ﷺ said, in his sermon when the sun was eclipsed: “O Ummah of Muhammad, by Allah, no one has greater protective jealousy than Allah.” (Reported by al Bukhari, 986; Muslim, 1499.)

The Prophet’s Protective Jealousy

When Saʿd ibn ʿUbadah (d. 15AH) said: “If I saw a man with my wife, I would strike him with the sword, not striking with its flat side,” Allah’s Messenger ﷺ said: “Do you wonder at Saʿd’s protective jealousy. By Allah, I have more protective jealousy than him, and Allah has more protective jealousy than me.” (Reported by al Bukhari, 6340; Muslim, 2755.)

It is related from ʿAbd Allah ibn ʿUmar رضي الله عنه that Allah’s Messenger ﷺ entered upon Maryah the Copt while she was pregnant with Ibrahim, and with her was a relative who had come with her from Egypt and had accepted Islam. He often entered upon the Mother of Ibrahim, and he had castrated himself, cutting what is between his legs until nothing remained.

One day the Messenger ﷺ entered upon her and found her relative with her, and something entered his heart from that, as happens in people’s hearts. He went out with his face changed, then ʿUmar ibn al Khattab met him and recognised that in his face. He said: “O Messenger of Allah, I see your face has changed.” He told him what had entered his heart concerning Maryah’s relative.

ʿUmar رضي الله عنه went with his sword, hurrying until he entered upon Maryah and found that relative with her, so he raised the sword to kill him. When the man saw that, he uncovered himself. When ʿUmar رضي الله عنهsaw that, he returned to the Messenger ﷺ and told him, so he ﷺ said: “Jibril came to me and told me that Allah has declared her and her relative innocent of what entered my heart, and he gave me glad tidings that in her womb is a boy, and that he is the most resembling of creation to me, and he commanded me to name him Ibrahim.” (Rawdat al Muhibbin, 1/294.)

The Protective Jealousy of ʿUmar

Allah’s Messenger ﷺ said: “While I was sleeping, I saw myself in Paradise, and there was a woman performing wudu by the side of a palace. I said: ‘Whose palace is this?’ They said: ‘For ʿUmar ibn al Khattab رضي الله عنه.’ Then I remembered his protective jealousy, so I turned away.” ʿUmar wept and said: “Would I have protective jealousy over you, O Messenger of Allah?” (Reported by al Bukhari, 3003; Muslim, 4408.)

The Protective Jealousy of Ibn ʿUmar

It is related from Ibn Abi Mulaykah (d. 117AH) that Ibn ʿUmar (d. 73AH) heard his wife speaking to a man from behind a wall, between him and her there was a kinship Ibn ʿUmar did not know. He gathered palm stalks and struck her until she made a sound.

The Protective Jealousy of Muʿadh ibn Jabal

Al Khara’iti (d. 327AH) mentioned from Muʿadh ibn Jabal (d. 18AH) that he was eating an apple while his wife was with him. A young servant entered, and she gave him an apple she had already eaten from, so Muʿadh struck her severely. One day he entered upon his wife while she was looking out from a leather tent, so he struck her. (Rawdat al Muhibbin, 1/94.)

It is also mentioned that Muʿadh saw his wife looking through a small opening, so he struck her, and he saw that she had given his servant an apple she had eaten from, so he struck her. (Ihya’ ʿUlum al Din, 2/47.)

The Protective Jealousy of Saʿd ibn ʿUbadah

It is mentioned that Saʿd ibn ʿUbadah رضي الله عنه had intense protective jealousy. He only married a virgin, and he never divorced a woman such that anyone could marry her. (Al Sirah al Halabiyyah, 3/204.)

Protective Jealousy in Islam

So that society remains clean, Islam commanded several orders and prohibitions to preserve it pure and clean, so that the signs of protective jealousy appear clearly. From that are the following measures.

Covering and not displaying adornment

Allah, Mighty and Exalted, said:

وَلَا يُبْدِينَ زِينَتَهُنَّ إِلَّا مَا ظَهَرَ مِنْهَا وَلْيَضْرِبْنَ بِخُمُرِهِنَّ عَلَى جُيُوبِهِنَّ ۝ وَلَا يَضْرِبْنَ بِأَرْجُلِهِنَّ لِيُعْلَمَ مَا يُخْفِينَ مِنْ زِينَتِهِنَّ

“They must not display their adornment except what normally appears, and they must draw their coverings over their chests, and they must not strike their feet so that what they hide of their adornment becomes known.” (al Nur: 31)

And He said:

وَقَرْنَ فِي بُيُوتِكُنَّ وَلَا تَبَرَّجْنَ تَبَرُّجَ الْجَاهِلِيَّةِ الْأُولَى

“Remain in your homes, and do not display yourselves as the displaying of the first time of ignorance.” (al Ahzab: 33)

Forbidding entering upon women and forbidding seclusion

Allah’s Messenger ﷺ said: “Beware of entering upon women.” A man from the Ansar said: “O Messenger of Allah, what about the husband’s male relatives?” He said: “The husband’s male relatives are death.” (Reported by al Bukhari, 4831; Muslim, 4037.)

He ﷺ said: “No man should be alone with a woman unless with her is a mahram, and a woman must not travel except with a mahram.” A man stood and said: “O Messenger of Allah, my wife has set out for Hajj, and I have been enrolled in such and such an expedition.” He ﷺ said: “Go and perform Hajj with your wife.” (Reported by al Bukhari, 1729; Muslim, 2391.)

This was a fighter in the path of Allah, yet the Prophet ﷺ commanded him to turn away from that expedition so that he would accompany his wife, even though she had gone out for a noble journey, the journey of Hajj, and with a group who were among the purest and most Allah fearing people. Even so, he ﷺ said: “Go and perform Hajj with your wife.”

Encouraging modesty

Allah’s Messenger ﷺ said: “Modesty is from faith.” (Reported by al Bukhari, 23; Muslim, 52.)
He ﷺ said: “Modesty is all good.” (Reported by Muslim, 54.)

Protecting honour

He ﷺ encouraged protecting honour, to the point that he made the one killed defending his family a martyr. He ﷺ said: “Whoever is killed defending his family is a martyr.” (Reported by Ahmad, 1565; Abu Dawud, 4142; al Tirmidhi, 1341; al Nasa’i, 4027. Al Albani graded it authentic, in Sahih al Nasa’i, 7/116.)

Lowering the gaze

Allah, Mighty and Exalted, said:

قُلْ لِلْمُؤْمِنِينَ يَغُضُّوا مِنْ أَبْصَارِهِمْ وَيَحْفَظُوا فُرُوجَهُمْ ذَلِكَ أَزْكَى لَهُمْ إِنَّ اللَّهَ خَبِيرٌ بِمَا يَصْنَعُونَ ۝ وَقُلْ لِلْمُؤْمِنَاتِ يَغْضُضْنَ مِنْ أَبْصَارِهِنَّ وَيَحْفَظْنَ فُرُوجَهُنَّ وَلَا يُبْدِينَ زِينَتَهُنَّ

“Tell the believing men to lower their gaze and guard their private parts. That is purer for them. Allah is fully aware of what they do. And tell the believing women to lower their gaze and guard their private parts, and not display their adornment.” (al Nur: 30–31)

There is no difference in this whether the look is from a man to a woman, or from a woman to a man. It is related from Umm Salamah, the Mother of the Believers رضي الله عنها, that she was with Allah’s Messenger ﷺ and Maymunah رضي الله عنها. She said: while we were with him, Ibn Umm Maktum رضي الله عنها came and entered upon him, and that was after we had been commanded with hijab.

Allah’s Messenger ﷺ said: “Veil yourselves from him.”

I said: “O Messenger of Allah, is he not blind, he does not see us and does not recognise us?” He ﷺ said: “Are you two blind as well, do you not see him?” (Reported by al Bukhari, 2285; Muslim, 3960.)

It is related from Jarir ibn ʿAbd Allah رضي الله عنه that he asked Allah’s Messenger ﷺ about a sudden glance, and he commanded him to turn away his gaze. (Reported by Muslim, 4018.)

Forbidding a woman to soften her speech

Allah, Mighty and Exalted, said:

فَلَا تَخْضَعْنَ بِالْقَوْلِ فَيَطْمَعَ الَّذِي فِي قَلْبِهِ مَرَضٌ وَقُلْنَ قَوْلًا مَعْرُوفًا

“So do not soften your speech, lest the one in whose heart is sickness should desire, and speak with appropriate speech.” (al Ahzab: 32)

Al Suddī (d. 127AH) and others said: this means softening speech when speaking to men. (Tafsir Ibn Kathir, 3/483.)

Categories of People regarding Protective Jealousy

People fall into four categories regarding protective jealousy.

The first are those who have no protective jealousy over Allah’s limits, nor over their own limits, such as the man who has no protective jealousy and the procurer, and the people of permissiveness who do not forbid what Allah and His Messenger forbade, and they do not follow the true religion. Some of them even make it a market and a way. Allah, Mighty and Exalted, said:

وَإِذَا فَعَلُوا فَاحِشَةً قَالُوا وَجَدْنَا عَلَيْهَا آَبَاءَنَا وَاللَّهُ أَمَرَنَا بِهَا قُلْ إِنَّ اللَّهَ لَا يَأْمُرُ بِالْفَحْشَاءِ

“When they commit an indecency, they say: ‘We found our fathers upon it, and Allah commanded us with it.’ Say: ‘Allah does not command indecency.’” (al Aʿraf: 28)

The second are those who show protective jealousy over what Allah forbade and what He commanded, from a type of love and dislike, yet they call that protective jealousy. So one of them dislikes from others matters that Allah and His Messenger love. Some of them make this a way and a religion, and they make envy, blocking the path of Allah, and disliking what Allah and His Messenger love into “protective jealousy.”

The third are those who show protective jealousy over what Allah commanded, but not over what He forbade. So with indecencies they do not dislike them and do not hate them, rather they dislike prayers and acts of worship, as Allah, Mighty and Exalted, said:

فَخَلَفَ مِنْ بَعْدِهِمْ خَلْفٌ أَضَاعُوا الصَّلَاةَ وَاتَّبَعُوا الشَّهَوَاتِ فَسَوْفَ يَلْقَوْنَ غَيًّا

“Then there came after them successors who neglected prayer and followed desires, so they will meet with ruin.” (Maryam: 59)

The fourth are those who have protective jealousy over what Allah dislikes, and they love what He loves. These are the people of faith. (Al Istiqamah, 2/9.)

Signs of Weak Protective Jealousy

Among the signs of weak protective jealousy are these matters.

Many men are lax about their wives riding while dressed in display and wearing perfume with a driver, or in a taxi without a mahram, or travelling without a mahram.

Some men are lax about their wives going to a male doctor to look at their private parts, sometimes even the severe private parts, claiming medical need, while not observing Sharia limits. From those limits are: the genuine need for treatment; not turning to a male doctor unless a female doctor is unavailable; not turning to a non Muslim doctor unless a Muslim doctor is unavailable; ensuring the examination is in the presence of the woman’s mahram, since seclusion is forbidden and here the matter is more severe; and limiting the examination to the place of need only.

Women being photographed at weddings, so the families photograph the bride and groom on the night of marriage, then these images pass among men and women, and the bride becomes exposed to unrelated men.

Indecent clothing spreading among women, such as revealing clothing and trousers that describe the woman’s body. Even the cloak and head covering have not been safe from a severe campaign against the Muslim woman’s identity in her dress, modesty, and chastity.

What happens in some families of mixed gatherings among relatives, and a woman not veiling from her husband’s male relatives.

Uncontrolled travel to countries that do not respect modest dress, nor the etiquette of hijab, which exposes women to forbidden mixing. The matter becomes worse when this happens with the approval of the guardian, and sometimes even by his command.

Many men being lax about photographing unrelated women and sending those images through social media to their mahrams, or those treated as such, without observing Allah’s right in that.

Causes of Weak Protective Jealousy

The first cause is sins. Faith increases with obedience and decreases with sins, and according to a person’s faith is his protective jealousy and his reverence for his Lord’s limits. Sins and protective jealousy are like water and fire. When waves of sin rise, the fire of protective jealousy in the heart goes down.

The second cause is intellectual invasion through its many means. Many Muslims were deceived by Western civilisation, so Satan cast into them the thought that there is no civilisation and no progress except by transferring Western lifestyles into all areas of Muslim societies. The disbelieving nations support this through what they seek of globalising societies upon the Western way.

The third cause is weakness of a man’s guardianship, either because his personality is weak, or because of excessive love for his family that weakens his authority over them and strengthens them against him, so commands and prohibitions become in the woman’s hand, whether that is with the wife or the daughter.

As for the wife, Shaykh al Islam Ibn Taymiyyah (d. 728AH) said, about Prophet Yusuf عليه السلام:

رَبِّ السِّجْنُ أَحَبُّ إِلَيَّ مِمَّا يَدْعُونَنِي إِلَيْهِ وَإِلَّا تَصْرِفْ عَنِّي كَيْدَهُنَّ أَصْبُ إِلَيْهِنَّ وَأَكُنْ مِنَ الْجَاهِلِينَ ۝ فَاسْتَجَابَ لَهُ رَبُّهُ فَصَرَفَ عَنْهُ كَيْدَهُنَّ إِنَّهُ هُوَ السَّمِيعُ الْعَلِيمُ

“He said: ‘My Lord, prison is more beloved to me than what they call me to. If You do not turn their plot away from me, I may incline to them and be among the ignorant.’ So his Lord answered him and turned their plot away from him. Indeed, He is the All Hearing, the All Knowing.” (Yusuf: 33–34)

He said: This shows he had fear of Allah that restrained him from indecency, even if people were pleased with it, and he asked his Lord to turn their plot away from him. It also indicates that there was weakness of protective jealousy in the husband, because when he became aware of her attempting to seduce Yusuf, he said:

يُوسُفُ أَعْرِضْ عَنْ هَذَا وَاسْتَغْفِرِي لِذَنْبِكِ إِنَّكِ كُنْتِ مِنَ الْخَاطِئِينَ

“Yusuf, turn away from this, and seek forgiveness for your sin. Indeed, you were among those who were at fault.” (Yusuf: 29)

He did not punish her, and he did not separate between her and Yusuf so that she could not pursue him, and he told Yusuf not to mention what happened out of love for his wife. If he had protective jealousy, he would have punished the woman. (Al Tafsir al Kabir, 18/100.)

As for the daughter, Ibn al Qayyim (d. 751AH) said: “Men have more protective jealousy over daughters than women. A man’s protective jealousy over his daughter is not equal to a mother’s protective jealousy.

How many mothers help their daughter in what she desires. What carries her to that is weakness of mind, quick deception, and weak protective jealousy in her nature, unlike the father. For this and other reasons, the Lawgiver made marriage in the father’s hand, not the mother’s, and He did not give the mother any guardianship over her chastity at all, nor over her wealth.” (Zad al Maʿad, 5/474.)

It was said: “It is not strange that women have taken on the ways of men, but the feminisation of men is astonishing.”

Al Shanqiti (d. 1393AH) said: “A woman’s going out and being exposed in public causes loss of manhood and religion, because a woman is a possession, and she is the best possession of this life, and she is the most exposed to betrayal. If a betraying eye looks at something of her beauty, it has taken some benefit of that beauty through betrayal and deceit. Exposing her to become a table for betrayers is clear to even the lowest level of reasoning.

Likewise, if the body of a betrayer touches something of her body, the pleasure of that touch runs through his blood and flesh by the nature of human instinct, especially when the heart is empty of fear of Allah. Then he takes the blessing of that body through betrayal and treachery.

Stirring instincts through looking and touching is often a cause of what is worse than that, as is seen much in lands that left the teachings of Islam and abandoned protection. Their women go out displaying themselves and exposing their bodies except what Allah wills, because Allah removed from their men the quality of manhood and protective jealousy over their women. There is no power and no strength except with Allah, the Most High, the Great.

We seek refuge with Allah from the corruption of conscience and taste, and from every evil. The claim of low, ignorant people that continual exposure of women, with heads, necks, wrists, forearms, and legs visible, removes the stirring of men’s instincts because frequent contact removes sensitivity, is speech of extreme baseness.

Its meaning is feeding desire with what is not permissible until it becomes less through repetition. Continuity does not remove the stirring of instinct, by agreement of people of reason. A man remains with his wife for many years until she gives birth to their children, and his touching her and seeing some of her body still stirs his instinct, as is witnessed. No one denies it except one who refuses the truth.” (Adwa’ al Bayan, 3/28.)

The fourth cause is luxury and drowning in desires of this life, and from that is what was indicated in the story of Prophet Yusuf عليه السلام with the wife of al ʿAziz, whose husband had weak protective jealousy.

The fifth cause is viewing protective jealousy as part of customs, not part of Sharia and faith. This makes it changeable, especially with time. Allah’s Messenger ﷺ said: “Protective jealousy is from faith, and shameless acceptance is from hypocrisy.” (Reported by al Bayhaqi, 10/225; ʿAbd al Razzaq, 10/409; and others. Al Albani graded it weak, in Daʿif al Jamiʿ, 3945. It is also narrated as “obscenity”.)

From laxness in responsibilities is that Allah, Mighty and Exalted, said:

يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا قُوا أَنْفُسَكُمْ وَأَهْلِيكُمْ نَارًا وَقُودُهَا النَّاسُ وَالْحِجَارَةُ

“O you who believe, protect yourselves and your families from a Fire whose fuel is people and stones.” (al Tahrim: 6)

Al Qushayri (d. 465AH) mentioned that ʿUmar (d. 23AH) said, when this verse came down: “O Messenger of Allah, we protect ourselves, but how do we protect our families?” He ﷺ said: “You forbid them from what Allah has forbidden you from, and you command them with what Allah has commanded you with.” (Tafsir al Qurtubi, 18/195.)

Statements about Protective Jealousy

It was said: “Protecting family, for people of protective jealousy, is more important than protecting wealth.” (Ruh al Maʿani, 26/98.)

It was said: Allah placed in the souls of the children of Adam a known protective jealousy. A man finds it tremendous that another man would have relations with his wife, more than his jealousy over himself committing fornication. If he does not dislike his wife being a prostitute while he accepts it, then how can he dislike himself being a fornicator. (Ibn Taymiyyah, 15/320.)

It was said: the Arabs would go out to war with their women and their wealth, so that this would drive them to defend honour and to be protective over honour, and to exert their full effort in battle, so they would not leave behind something they tell themselves to retreat to. This gathers their hearts, controls their determination, and prepares them not to leave their places, not to abandon their positions, and to spend the highest level of courage and strength. (Al Bahr al Muhit, 4/496.)

It was said: “Protective jealousy is in what is forbidden, not in what is lawful.” (Tarikh Madinat Dimashq, 56/201.)

It was said: protective jealousy is only between the lover and the beloved, as Abu al Fath Kashajim (d. 360AH) said:

أغارُ إذا دنتْ مِنْ فيهِ كأسٌ
على درٍّ يقبـِّـله الزُّجاجُ

“I feel protective jealousy when a cup comes close to his mouth, over a pearl the glass kisses.”

(Yatimat al Dahr, 1/212.)

Ibn al Qayyim (d. 751AH) said: “Protective jealousy has a limit. If it goes beyond it, it becomes an accusation and a bad thought about the innocent. If it falls short of it, it becomes heedlessness and the beginnings of shameless acceptance.” (Al Fawa’id, 1/141.)

He said: “Protective jealousy over the beloved is the lover’s pride and zeal that another shares him in his beloved.” (Rawdat al Muhibbin, 1/295.)

Abu Hamid al Ghazali (d. 505AH) said: “Protective jealousy was created to protect lineage. If people were lax about that, lineages would mix. Therefore it was said: every Ummah that placed protective jealousy in its men placed protection in its women.” (Ihya’ ʿUlum al Din, 3/168.)

Ibn Hazm (d. 456AH) said: “When protective jealousy rises, then be certain that love has risen.” (Mudawat al Nufus, 1/55.)

It was said: “Every love without protective jealousy is a lying love.” (Muhadarat al Udaba, 2/253.)

It was said:

ما أحْسنَ الغـَـيْرَةَ في حِينِها
وأقْبــحَ الغَيْرَةَ في كُلِّ حِينِ

“How beautiful protective jealousy is in its proper time, and how ugly protective jealousy is at every time.” (Muʿahadat al Tansis, 1/254.)

It was said: “Protective jealousy is the rising of anger as protection over honour.” (Muʿjam Maqalid al ʿUlum, 1/203.)

This is a translation of Muḥammad ibn Saʿīd Āl Qāsim’s article https://saaid.org/bahoth/268.htm